I reached a couple milestones yesterday. I ran my first 20 mile week with four 5 mile runs and have accumulated over 250 miles this year running. Although I have been watching the miles pile up since January, hitting a nice round number like that is always going to make you stop and think about the time and effort that has gone into it. In addition to the 254.3 miles, I have spent 46 hours, 38 minutes and 29 seconds running. That doesn’t sound nearly as impressive as the miles. What’s really still kind of amazing to me is that I’m still doing it. Six and a half months of pretty consistent exercise. There is no doubt in my mind that this is the most active I have been since high school. I never would have thought that the one activity that I would maintain would be running. I always figured that the only way that I would ever maintain some healthy activity was if it was something ‘fun’ that would keep my interest going.
And I suppose that in a way, running is fun. I certainly like the solitude and the time to think. I like the way I feel psychologically afterward and I definitely like updating my running log and seeing the numbers keep going up. I like the challenge of trying to go a little further and a maintain my pace over a longer distance. And I like that I’m doing something that is good for me and will help to keep me living longer for my family. I really like that I have maintained the discipline for this long and that I miss it if I don’t do it for a couple days. Its become a part of my life now and though I still fear I will stop, I worry about it less and less. I more worry about getting hurt, either while running or walking across the yard and that this will set me back or even lead to quitting. But I have a hard time now imagining not getting regular exercise of some kind. I’m disappointed that it hasn’t lead more easily to some weight loss, but I stated early on that wouldn’t be a primary goal and that general fitness would be my focus. I believe that I’m more fit, but clearly I would like to look it a bit more. It also has got to be easier on my body to run the longer distances if I’m not carrying around the big tire around my middle.
I guess what I’m more disappointed in is that I haven’t chosen to eat better along with exercising regularly. I did start last Monday to track my calories again and to try and stay under the 1800/day mark, and did well through Thursday, but then Friday we went out for dinner, Saturday out for lunch and today it was golfing with a couple drinks, a couple hot dogs and then cookies after dinner. I did manage to not eat as many cookies as I usually would, but still several too many for a reasonable desert. So, tomorrow, it’s back to tracking calories and staying around the 1800/day mark and I think I’m ready now to maintain a more healthy eating lifestyle too. It’s just time. I’m also looking forward to the next 250 miles and hope I can accomplish them well before the end of the year. With any luck, I could even accomplish them before the half marathon I’m still hoping to run the middle of October. In fact, there is a pretty decent chance that I could reach the 500th mile DURING the race. Wouldn’t that be fun?
But this post isn’t about what I am not doing or what I should do or will do. This post is to take a moment and celebrate what I have done. I’ve run 82 times in the last six and one half months for a total of over 46 hours and 250 miles. That is a pretty cool accomplishment as far as I’m concerned and I’m proud to have done it. So, Good Job; You deserve a pat on the back.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
First Race
July 5th 11:56pm
I ran my first race a little over a week ago; the Sturgis Falls 5K in Cedar Falls. It was kind of a crappy morning with a light rain leading up to the race which was scheduled for a 7:00 AM start. But it was cool if a little humid so it worked out OK. Right as the race was starting the rain stopped. We started out on Waterloo Road, right next to the Rec center and there were well over 600 people there for the race. They ranged in age from young kids of around 12 years old to senior citizens in 70’s and even 80’s I think.
The main reason I wanted to do the race was to just participate in an official event and see what it was like and to see what I could do if I pushed myself for a faster pace. My goal was to finish the race in less than 30 minutes. I’d been kind of focusing on <10 miles when I was doing my regular runs, but I knew I would need to be under that to finishing 5K in less than 10 minutes since it is slightly over 3 miles. Strangely for me, I never bothered to calculate the exact pace I would need until the last minute. I was surprised to find it was so much less than a 10 minute mile at 9:39. I wasn’t sure I would be able to do it since I had beaten the 10 minute pace only a couple times and in both cases, it was longer distances, 4 and 5 miles and I got below 10 with a big push at the end, well after the 3.11 miles; which means that I had never run a 30 minute 5K before.
So I got as close to the front of the pack as I dared and when the starting gun went off, I started out on what I thought was a pretty reasonable pace and tried to keep it up. I was passed frequently, even before the pack split into the 5K and HM courses. But when the first mile marker came up, the person calling the pace out said 8 minutes and 40 seconds. I was still feeling reasonably good though I could feel that this was a faster than normal pace. I didn’t expect I would be able to maintain that pace, but I was feeling pretty good about finishing in under 30 minutes. Not long after that, we turned left into some residential neighborhoods and I started to feel like I would need to slow down. I wanted to make sure that I didn’t go so fast in the beginning that I would be forced to walk later and possibly blow the goal. At mile 2, the marker said something like 17:40 so I knew I was still running a good pace and should be able to make my goal. But it was really starting to get tough, yet I somehow wasn’t able to slow my pace much. I wanted to give it everything I had and do the best that I could besides finishing under 30 minutes. I just kept going and even though I kept getting passed by all manner of people, old men, middle aged women, children of both genders, I didn’t give it too much thought and just kept running my race.
By the time I was close enough to know the finish line was near, I was really starting to feel fatigued and though I didn’t have any real fear of not finishing, there was the slightest concern that I might collapse or stumble before reaching the finishing line and wouldn’t be able to get back up. But it didn’t happen and I crossed the finish line at 27 minutes and 14 seconds, 2 minutes and 45 seconds ahead of goal.
I didn’t have any real emotional reaction to it, I was physically exhausted and mentally numb. All I could really think about was getting to the port a potty to pee and sip the Gatorade provided by the race. I did think for a few moments that I might puke, but that was never a serious issue. I walked around for several minutes, getting my breath and recovering my strength and senses. I stretched a little and had a bit of bagel provided by Panera. I thought it was Cinnamon raisin but it ended up being chocolate chip. It took me quite a while to realize it though I was vaguely aware it didn’t taste quite right.
We got in the car pretty soon after and headed home. My legs started to hurt and I was just spent physically and still not quite sure how I felt about the whole thing. It was kind of a strange experience. But it was good to have beat my goal.
I ran my first race a little over a week ago; the Sturgis Falls 5K in Cedar Falls. It was kind of a crappy morning with a light rain leading up to the race which was scheduled for a 7:00 AM start. But it was cool if a little humid so it worked out OK. Right as the race was starting the rain stopped. We started out on Waterloo Road, right next to the Rec center and there were well over 600 people there for the race. They ranged in age from young kids of around 12 years old to senior citizens in 70’s and even 80’s I think.
The main reason I wanted to do the race was to just participate in an official event and see what it was like and to see what I could do if I pushed myself for a faster pace. My goal was to finish the race in less than 30 minutes. I’d been kind of focusing on <10 miles when I was doing my regular runs, but I knew I would need to be under that to finishing 5K in less than 10 minutes since it is slightly over 3 miles. Strangely for me, I never bothered to calculate the exact pace I would need until the last minute. I was surprised to find it was so much less than a 10 minute mile at 9:39. I wasn’t sure I would be able to do it since I had beaten the 10 minute pace only a couple times and in both cases, it was longer distances, 4 and 5 miles and I got below 10 with a big push at the end, well after the 3.11 miles; which means that I had never run a 30 minute 5K before.
So I got as close to the front of the pack as I dared and when the starting gun went off, I started out on what I thought was a pretty reasonable pace and tried to keep it up. I was passed frequently, even before the pack split into the 5K and HM courses. But when the first mile marker came up, the person calling the pace out said 8 minutes and 40 seconds. I was still feeling reasonably good though I could feel that this was a faster than normal pace. I didn’t expect I would be able to maintain that pace, but I was feeling pretty good about finishing in under 30 minutes. Not long after that, we turned left into some residential neighborhoods and I started to feel like I would need to slow down. I wanted to make sure that I didn’t go so fast in the beginning that I would be forced to walk later and possibly blow the goal. At mile 2, the marker said something like 17:40 so I knew I was still running a good pace and should be able to make my goal. But it was really starting to get tough, yet I somehow wasn’t able to slow my pace much. I wanted to give it everything I had and do the best that I could besides finishing under 30 minutes. I just kept going and even though I kept getting passed by all manner of people, old men, middle aged women, children of both genders, I didn’t give it too much thought and just kept running my race.
By the time I was close enough to know the finish line was near, I was really starting to feel fatigued and though I didn’t have any real fear of not finishing, there was the slightest concern that I might collapse or stumble before reaching the finishing line and wouldn’t be able to get back up. But it didn’t happen and I crossed the finish line at 27 minutes and 14 seconds, 2 minutes and 45 seconds ahead of goal.
I didn’t have any real emotional reaction to it, I was physically exhausted and mentally numb. All I could really think about was getting to the port a potty to pee and sip the Gatorade provided by the race. I did think for a few moments that I might puke, but that was never a serious issue. I walked around for several minutes, getting my breath and recovering my strength and senses. I stretched a little and had a bit of bagel provided by Panera. I thought it was Cinnamon raisin but it ended up being chocolate chip. It took me quite a while to realize it though I was vaguely aware it didn’t taste quite right.
We got in the car pretty soon after and headed home. My legs started to hurt and I was just spent physically and still not quite sure how I felt about the whole thing. It was kind of a strange experience. But it was good to have beat my goal.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Get with the program already
Its bee a couple weeks since I last posted. My training has increased somewhat since then, but the eating is stayed pretty much the same as has the weight at around 230. The week I just finished was a new PR for weekly distance at 17 miles. 3 4 milers and a 5 miler today, Saturday.
I’m trying to get more specific with a training plan as the idea of running a half marathon gets closer and more real. Its just 17 weeks away and I feel I have a log way to go even though I have made and am making good progress from the couch to 5K program I completed a couple moths back. I’ve been looking at and very loosely basing my training on the Hal Higdon HM training plan for beginners but I started looking around at some other plans this evening. I am also realizing that I need to get serious about treating this like a training program and not just a loose guideline of how many miles I’m going to run each day/week. I need to run on the days I’m supposed to run, rest on those days and cross train on those days. And I really need to get the eating under plan as well. I need to make sure I’m giving my body what it needs to accomplish what I’m asking it to. I think I’m building mental and physical strength with some of these runs. When I feel like quitting at the beginning of a 4 or 5 mile run but finish them all and try to have good paces on runs where I just wanted to stop at the beginning, that shows I’m building up some mental and physical toughness. I also feel like HOW I’m running; the gait I’m using is starting to be a factor. I know this because on a run early this week, my shins were hurting almost before I started running on the warm up walk and each step was a little torture. Although I’d been trying to land more softly on the ball of my foot, at about the 1.75 mile mark, I try to over due it almost landing on my toes and almost immediately the pressure on my shins let up and it made a huge difference in the run. I relaxed and wasn’t tense anticipating the shock on each step. I feel really sloppy on most days when i start and very clunky. It’s like Frankenstein running down the street with those big heavy platform shoes. Only after i have been going for several minutes do I feel like I’m starting to lessen the shock on each step and start to feel a more smooth rythym. I keep replying through my mind some advice I got from my old buddy Matt Condron who is an ultru runner now. Take short steps and feel like I’m trying to push the tread of the treadmill back with my feet. Its a great analogy and reminder. The other thing I was working with the last couple runs was to try and keep my foot on the ground for as little time as possible. As soon as it lands, try to get it back up again. This should help with speed and it seems to take some of the pressure off each landing.
The bottom line is that I am trying to do more each week and the more time I spent out on the road running, the more important in becomes that I’m not going about it in a half assed manner. I need to make plans and stick to them. Avoid doing something stupid because I wasn’t thinking which causes an injury or is counterproductive to my ultimate goal. It’s time to get with the program!
I’m trying to get more specific with a training plan as the idea of running a half marathon gets closer and more real. Its just 17 weeks away and I feel I have a log way to go even though I have made and am making good progress from the couch to 5K program I completed a couple moths back. I’ve been looking at and very loosely basing my training on the Hal Higdon HM training plan for beginners but I started looking around at some other plans this evening. I am also realizing that I need to get serious about treating this like a training program and not just a loose guideline of how many miles I’m going to run each day/week. I need to run on the days I’m supposed to run, rest on those days and cross train on those days. And I really need to get the eating under plan as well. I need to make sure I’m giving my body what it needs to accomplish what I’m asking it to. I think I’m building mental and physical strength with some of these runs. When I feel like quitting at the beginning of a 4 or 5 mile run but finish them all and try to have good paces on runs where I just wanted to stop at the beginning, that shows I’m building up some mental and physical toughness. I also feel like HOW I’m running; the gait I’m using is starting to be a factor. I know this because on a run early this week, my shins were hurting almost before I started running on the warm up walk and each step was a little torture. Although I’d been trying to land more softly on the ball of my foot, at about the 1.75 mile mark, I try to over due it almost landing on my toes and almost immediately the pressure on my shins let up and it made a huge difference in the run. I relaxed and wasn’t tense anticipating the shock on each step. I feel really sloppy on most days when i start and very clunky. It’s like Frankenstein running down the street with those big heavy platform shoes. Only after i have been going for several minutes do I feel like I’m starting to lessen the shock on each step and start to feel a more smooth rythym. I keep replying through my mind some advice I got from my old buddy Matt Condron who is an ultru runner now. Take short steps and feel like I’m trying to push the tread of the treadmill back with my feet. Its a great analogy and reminder. The other thing I was working with the last couple runs was to try and keep my foot on the ground for as little time as possible. As soon as it lands, try to get it back up again. This should help with speed and it seems to take some of the pressure off each landing.
The bottom line is that I am trying to do more each week and the more time I spent out on the road running, the more important in becomes that I’m not going about it in a half assed manner. I need to make plans and stick to them. Avoid doing something stupid because I wasn’t thinking which causes an injury or is counterproductive to my ultimate goal. It’s time to get with the program!
Monday, June 7, 2010
5 Months (and 5 miles) Later
It has been 5 months and one day since the last time I posted to the blog. The good news is that I'm still running and have made good progress on my goal. I finished the couch to 5K plan in late February and have been going ever since. I wasn't running as regularly after I completed the plan as I would have liked, and came close to giving it up when I went about 9 days without running at all, but the last month has been real good and I have been enjoying the progress I've been making.
Now when I don't run, I miss it and I look forward to getting out on the road. One of the keys has been keeping track of my running in a running log and watching those miles keep going up. As I write this post, I've got a total of 167 miles with almost all of them in 2010. Last week I ran 15.5 miles and did my first 5 mile run yesterday. I ran it just under 52 minutes for a pace of 10:24. That is something I simply could not have done only five months ago. In May, I ran 46.6 miles; again this is amazing.
My original goal was to run a marathon on October 17th in Des Moines. I've decided that I'm going to make that a half marathon. Now that I have been running for over five months, I have a better idea of what a challenge a full marathon really is. Even a half marathon is a pretty aggressive goal for a new runner, but I do think I will be able to do it. For a long time, I was running a certain amount of time for each run, slowly working my way up from the 30 minutes that I did in the last week of the couch to 5K program. I had gotten up to 36 minutes and pretty much stayed there for almost two months, during the period when my running got a little sporadic. When I decided to get more focused on training for the HM, I decided to start running for distance instead of time and looked around online and found a training program which I'm basing my current running on. The plan is by a well known running teacher named Hal Higdon and is meant for beginning runners who want to attempt the half marathon. Its a 12 week plan, but since I've got (and need) more time than that to train, I'm going to do most weeks twice. I'm also not following it exactly though pretty close. The big part of it that I haven't been following is that it includes cross training which up to now I have not been doing. I'm going to remedy that this week by joining the local gym that just opened up and start some strength training. We've also been talking about getting some bikes which would be another fitness option that would be lower impact and something to do on those days I am not running.
One area where I have not been doing nearly so well is in my eating habits. I've continued to eat very poorly and subsequently, even though I have been running quite a bit, my weight has not changed. Its amazing to think about all the calories that I'm burning running 12-15 miles/week and that I'm eating enough to off set that exercise. More important than the weight though is that not eating right makes the running that much harder. I'm reaching the point where I am going to HAVE to eat better or I may not be able to sustain the kind of training that I'm pursuing. And its just time that I stop letting food make me feel bad and control my behavior. But I'm not going to get down about it. I have made an amazing change in my attitude toward exercise and running and taken a big step in changing my lifestyle. I know that I can do this one additional step with food. And now is the time.
Now when I don't run, I miss it and I look forward to getting out on the road. One of the keys has been keeping track of my running in a running log and watching those miles keep going up. As I write this post, I've got a total of 167 miles with almost all of them in 2010. Last week I ran 15.5 miles and did my first 5 mile run yesterday. I ran it just under 52 minutes for a pace of 10:24. That is something I simply could not have done only five months ago. In May, I ran 46.6 miles; again this is amazing.
My original goal was to run a marathon on October 17th in Des Moines. I've decided that I'm going to make that a half marathon. Now that I have been running for over five months, I have a better idea of what a challenge a full marathon really is. Even a half marathon is a pretty aggressive goal for a new runner, but I do think I will be able to do it. For a long time, I was running a certain amount of time for each run, slowly working my way up from the 30 minutes that I did in the last week of the couch to 5K program. I had gotten up to 36 minutes and pretty much stayed there for almost two months, during the period when my running got a little sporadic. When I decided to get more focused on training for the HM, I decided to start running for distance instead of time and looked around online and found a training program which I'm basing my current running on. The plan is by a well known running teacher named Hal Higdon and is meant for beginning runners who want to attempt the half marathon. Its a 12 week plan, but since I've got (and need) more time than that to train, I'm going to do most weeks twice. I'm also not following it exactly though pretty close. The big part of it that I haven't been following is that it includes cross training which up to now I have not been doing. I'm going to remedy that this week by joining the local gym that just opened up and start some strength training. We've also been talking about getting some bikes which would be another fitness option that would be lower impact and something to do on those days I am not running.
One area where I have not been doing nearly so well is in my eating habits. I've continued to eat very poorly and subsequently, even though I have been running quite a bit, my weight has not changed. Its amazing to think about all the calories that I'm burning running 12-15 miles/week and that I'm eating enough to off set that exercise. More important than the weight though is that not eating right makes the running that much harder. I'm reaching the point where I am going to HAVE to eat better or I may not be able to sustain the kind of training that I'm pursuing. And its just time that I stop letting food make me feel bad and control my behavior. But I'm not going to get down about it. I have made an amazing change in my attitude toward exercise and running and taken a big step in changing my lifestyle. I know that I can do this one additional step with food. And now is the time.
Friday, January 15, 2010
My Rocky Relationship with Food
For about as long as I can remember, I have had a love/hate relationship with food. Eating has long been something I did to feel good, or because I felt bad. It often made me feel better, if only temporarily. Since I've been overweight for most of my life, and felt bad about it for almost all of that time, I've often thought of food as an enemy. Food is something that I struggled against, tried to defeat and ultimately lost battles to time and again. The problem was that my heart, or at least my stomach and brain were never really committed to the fight. Eating food, especially food that isn't particularly healthy has always made me feel good. Or not good exactly, because often, when I knew I was eating something that I shouldn't or eating when I was already full, and recognized I was doing that at the time, I would be chastising myself even as I opened the package or sat down with a big bowl of ice cream, cereal or a handful of cookies. The best word I can use to describe the feeling is 'comfort'. But the feeling was always temporary. Inevitably, the next morning (I did most of my binge eating at night), or the next time I weighed myself, or right after or even during the binge, I felt disgust and defeat. I would ask myself, why I had just made myself feel that way? Why was I so weak? Why did I eat those cookies when I said to myself BEFORE I got them, I'm really full. I know sometimes I did this out of boredom. Part of it was just out of habit. But what I haven't been able to figure out was, when I was cognizant enough to think, "I'm full, I don't need to eat, I don't even WANT to eat"; why I would then pour a big bowl of cereal and do it anyway. Why would I do that? That's not boredom or habit. That is some sort of sickness or addiction. But again, what was I addicted to? How was I deriving comfort from doing something that made my so uncomfortable?
I'm aware that I'm talking about this in the past tense, but it is still something I have to struggle with.
Current thought in the psychology community is that this behavior is a kind of addiction called binge eating. It is differentiated from other eating disorders such as bulimia by the fact that there is no 'purge' cycle. (I can't think of many things I enjoy less than puking so that was never in the cards for me.) So my fun benefit was to be overweight. Binge eating is also characterized by cycles of dieting and then gaining the lost weight back, plus some bonus pounds on top. Been there, done that.
What's been nice since I started training is that along with feeling a little more relaxed about my weight, I am starting to feel a little better about food and eating. What has helped is reading that I should eat when I'm hungry. As simple and obvious as that sounds, it's great to have 'permission' to eat when I feel hungry. Even better is the fact that eating more frequent, smaller meals promotes a higher metabolism which will help me to lose and keep off excess weight. But it is the psychological/emotional impact of knowing that I don't have to be hungry to lose weight that really helps. It really is self-defeating to try and stay on any kind of eating plan when you know you are going to be hungry a couple times a day. Now when I get hungry, usually in the late morning and mid-afternoon, I just go and get something. A rice cake with peanut butter, an english muffin with smart balance, a granola bar. Just a hundred or two calories of some real food and I don't feel hungry any more. And that helps me to not gorge myself when I have the next 'regular' meal. Or worse, to finally give in an hour BEFORE the next regular meal and have a huge unhealthy snack. Sometimes I'll even need to have a couple snacks between lunch and dinner, but the key is that I don't feel deprived. I've been following this simple plan for the last couple weeks and am feeling good and have lost about 5 pounds. The other fun thing that has been happening the last couple weeks is that I'm really enjoying the more healthy food that I'm eating. In the past, I've had a pretty bad attitude about healthy good, vegetables in particular, though that has gotten better in the years I've been with my wife. Before her, I wouldn't even cook a vegetable or order one when I was eating out, and if there was one on the table, I usually gave it a pass. My wife stopped short of insisting I eat some, but not too far short and I have grudgingly eaten them without pleasure for several years now. With my new food 'tude, I have opened my mind to the possibility of lunch without meat and for the last couple weeks, have probably only had meat a couple times as the main ingredient of my lunches.
What has been really helpful is that I work out of an office in my home and holiday season tends to be a little bit slower than usual, so I've had the time to go to the kitchen around lunch time and take 30 minutes to make a good lunch for myself or she and I/the kids. The first one that really surprised me was when I prepared english muffins with slices of tomato and then mozzerella cheese. A couple spices and then under the broiler for a few minutes. YUM. And this from someone who didn't really like tomatoes outside of salsa less than 6 months ago. Now as an entree'? Another good one was refried beans and cheese on a tortilla heated up and then salsa at the end. A great hot lunch and no meat. I even bought tofu to replace chicken in a recent stir fry and enjoyed it just fine.
Part of the reason this amazes me so is that I grew up in a meat and potatoes household and kept that thinking about food as I got out on my own. But I'm 43 and making some significant adjustments in how I enjoy food and the types of foods that I can enjoy. I can even foresee a time in the not so distant future where a big greasy burger or French fries would not especially appeal to me (though it will be quite a while before I wouldn't try to choke them down). The point is, you can teach an old dog new tricks and you can change your food thinking and attitude, which makes changing your food choices and habits SO much easier and likely to succeed. Sometimes you have to 'fake it until you make it', but for those lovers of fatty and sweet foods like me, where healthy food choices are concerned, I'd also encourage you to "try it, you might like it!" But enough cliches.
Relationships take a long time to build and they are not changed overnight. But they can be changed. Gradually and with continual effort, you can make many small changes that add up to a significant change over time. That's what I'm trying to do with my relationship with food. Change it from one of bad decisions, unhealthy choices guilt, regret and feeling 'bad' to one of better decisions, balance and enjoyment.
I'm aware that I'm talking about this in the past tense, but it is still something I have to struggle with.
Current thought in the psychology community is that this behavior is a kind of addiction called binge eating. It is differentiated from other eating disorders such as bulimia by the fact that there is no 'purge' cycle. (I can't think of many things I enjoy less than puking so that was never in the cards for me.) So my fun benefit was to be overweight. Binge eating is also characterized by cycles of dieting and then gaining the lost weight back, plus some bonus pounds on top. Been there, done that.
What's been nice since I started training is that along with feeling a little more relaxed about my weight, I am starting to feel a little better about food and eating. What has helped is reading that I should eat when I'm hungry. As simple and obvious as that sounds, it's great to have 'permission' to eat when I feel hungry. Even better is the fact that eating more frequent, smaller meals promotes a higher metabolism which will help me to lose and keep off excess weight. But it is the psychological/emotional impact of knowing that I don't have to be hungry to lose weight that really helps. It really is self-defeating to try and stay on any kind of eating plan when you know you are going to be hungry a couple times a day. Now when I get hungry, usually in the late morning and mid-afternoon, I just go and get something. A rice cake with peanut butter, an english muffin with smart balance, a granola bar. Just a hundred or two calories of some real food and I don't feel hungry any more. And that helps me to not gorge myself when I have the next 'regular' meal. Or worse, to finally give in an hour BEFORE the next regular meal and have a huge unhealthy snack. Sometimes I'll even need to have a couple snacks between lunch and dinner, but the key is that I don't feel deprived. I've been following this simple plan for the last couple weeks and am feeling good and have lost about 5 pounds. The other fun thing that has been happening the last couple weeks is that I'm really enjoying the more healthy food that I'm eating. In the past, I've had a pretty bad attitude about healthy good, vegetables in particular, though that has gotten better in the years I've been with my wife. Before her, I wouldn't even cook a vegetable or order one when I was eating out, and if there was one on the table, I usually gave it a pass. My wife stopped short of insisting I eat some, but not too far short and I have grudgingly eaten them without pleasure for several years now. With my new food 'tude, I have opened my mind to the possibility of lunch without meat and for the last couple weeks, have probably only had meat a couple times as the main ingredient of my lunches.
What has been really helpful is that I work out of an office in my home and holiday season tends to be a little bit slower than usual, so I've had the time to go to the kitchen around lunch time and take 30 minutes to make a good lunch for myself or she and I/the kids. The first one that really surprised me was when I prepared english muffins with slices of tomato and then mozzerella cheese. A couple spices and then under the broiler for a few minutes. YUM. And this from someone who didn't really like tomatoes outside of salsa less than 6 months ago. Now as an entree'? Another good one was refried beans and cheese on a tortilla heated up and then salsa at the end. A great hot lunch and no meat. I even bought tofu to replace chicken in a recent stir fry and enjoyed it just fine.
Part of the reason this amazes me so is that I grew up in a meat and potatoes household and kept that thinking about food as I got out on my own. But I'm 43 and making some significant adjustments in how I enjoy food and the types of foods that I can enjoy. I can even foresee a time in the not so distant future where a big greasy burger or French fries would not especially appeal to me (though it will be quite a while before I wouldn't try to choke them down). The point is, you can teach an old dog new tricks and you can change your food thinking and attitude, which makes changing your food choices and habits SO much easier and likely to succeed. Sometimes you have to 'fake it until you make it', but for those lovers of fatty and sweet foods like me, where healthy food choices are concerned, I'd also encourage you to "try it, you might like it!" But enough cliches.
Relationships take a long time to build and they are not changed overnight. But they can be changed. Gradually and with continual effort, you can make many small changes that add up to a significant change over time. That's what I'm trying to do with my relationship with food. Change it from one of bad decisions, unhealthy choices guilt, regret and feeling 'bad' to one of better decisions, balance and enjoyment.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
How I Got Here
I have never liked running. The last time I ran was in high school, over 25 years ago. Running was something my football and wrestling coaches forced us to do, seemingly, and sometimes literally, as punishment. Even further back, in middle school when I went out for track and threw the discus and shot put, the coaches had the other 'big guys' and I occasionally run the 'fat man relay' (that is what they called it) in track meets with other teams. I guess it was a bit of fun to see 4 mostly overweight, but definitely slow guys run a 400 or 800 yard relay against 4 similarly speed challenged boys from the opposing team. It always got a good laugh from all the spectators. Those are my two most vivid memories of running, which makes it all the more strange that I should find, almost by accident at the age of 43 that I like running.
I've struggled with being overweight almost my entire life. In the last five years, I'd added even more extra poundage to my already overburdened frame and a couple of years ago, received a diagnoses of 'pre-diabetic' from my doctor. It wasn't yet bad enough that I had to take insulin, but if I stayed on my current path, it was only a matter of time. Yet, a year later, I had only made very minimal progress in changing my lifestyle. I'd managed to lose 10-15 pounds of the 60 I figured I needed to. I skipped a couple return appointments to the doctor, trying to avoid unpleasant news.
Then, a year ago I made yet another attempt at making significant changes to my lifestyle, exercising regularly by walking on the treadmill and tracking (and limiting) calories. In about four months, I'd lost another 22 pounds, and then, as had happened many times before when trying to make healthy changes, 'fell off the wagon'. By November of this past year, I'd gained 16 of those 22 pounds back. I was starting to wonder if I would ever make long term changes and really live a healthy lifestyle. I thought about why I had failed so many times before and how I could do it differently this time, and succeed. After writing about it a few times in my 'losing weight' blog, I realized two things. The first is that losing weight as a goal just didn't work for me. It wasn't motivating and mentally, I just couldn't maintain the discipline it took for a goal about which I didn't really care. I realized that it was just a convenient way to measure 'living a healthy lifestyle', but I really felt that I needed something I was really interested in doing to motivate me to make the changes I knew were necessary. The other thing I realized is that I had to stop focusing on my weight at all because it promoted short term thinking as far as the changes I wanted to make. If the purpose of eating better and regular exercise was to hit a certain weight, or waist size, then if/when I hit those numbers, my motivation to continue the healthy living would be gone. I needed to find a way to make those changes a long term proposition, to be the way I wanted to live the rest of my life rather than something I was doing to reach some arbitrary number related to my body size. The problem was, though I thought and wrote about it over a period of weeks, I didn't come up with this new source of motivation. And I knew that I could sit around and wait for it to come, so I decided just to get moving again and hope it would come to me.
So I started walking on the treadmill again. We've had the treadmill for about 10 years and most of those years it has sat in the corner unused. Every few months (or years), I'd get on it for a few weeks, walking as a way to try and get exercise back into my life. I really wanted to jump start the fitness so decided to go 45 minutes rather than the 20-30 I'd done in times past. One day, just so I could feel like I was really working out, I alternated the walking with some jogging. When I finished that day, I was tired, but I felt good. Funny thing is, the running made that 45 minutes go by much faster than just walking alone did. In fact, the time seemed to fly by. So the next day, I did it again. Walk some to warm up, then run a little and walk some more. At first it was less than 3 miles, then I hit 3 miles; 3.2, 3.3. Pretty soon I was trying to do a little more each day. In order to ensure that, I started timing the walking and the running and adding a little more running each day, or go a little faster. It got to be a game and I looked forward to getting on the treadmill to try and beat my last distance. That was when I realized that I liked running. Then an idea for a goal formed in my mind and it seemed crazy, but was exciting at the same time.
I want to run a marathon.
It was crazy. I was still at least 40 pounds overweight, less than a month off the couch and I'd never been much of an athlete even in high school. And that was a long time ago. But I couldn't shake the idea and every time I thought about it, I got a thrill and somewhere down deep I knew that I could do it. But I also knew that it wasn't something I could just do on my own, and it wasn't something to be taken lightly. I would need a plan.
My wife had told me about a training program called ‘Couch to 5K’ which included alternating timed walking and running. This was exactly what I had stumbled on myself so it seemed perfect. As I looked over the plan, I realized that it was starting at a point well behind what I was already doing. Week 1 of the plan was only 3 days/week for 20 minutes; and running 60 seconds for every 90 seconds walking. But I also realized that I had been trying to go too fast. The last session I did before changing to C25K I was able to get in over 3.8 miles in the same 45 minutes that had been less than 3 miles just a couple weeks before. But when I finished that run, I was completely exhausted and still tired the next day. I'd read enough beginner articles and tips online to know I was trying to go too fast and was headed for an injury or burn out.
So I officially started the Couch to 5K training plan on 12/27/09. It is a 9 week plan at the end of which, I should be able to run 3 miles without stopping. At week 14 on March 28th, I'm planning to run my first 5K race at the Friendly Sons of St. Patrick 5K in West Des Moines, IA. If that goes OK, then at week 18, on April 25th, I'll attempt a 10K at the U of I River Run in Iowa City. The Marathon is scheduled for week 43 in Des Moines on October 17th. I'm reviewing a couple different marathon training plans and will make that decision in the next month. From what I can tell, most of those plans are 16 weeks and assume 6 months to a year of previous running. I'll be at the six month mark when I would start a 16 week plan, so it may be a little aggresive, but I believe I can do it, even if I end of walking some of it this first time out.
The best thing is that now I have a goal that I'm really interested in achieving and that supports my other goals of living a healthy lifestyle and getting fit. I'm even OK with finding out later in the year that I won't be ready for a marathon in 2010 if that is what happens. I know it is just a matter of time before I will be ready and I'll be having fun and feeling better than ever as I train for that day. That's the other part of my thinking that has changed with this new goal. I'm not panicked about not hitting my goal by X date and if I don't, I have failed. I'm in this for the long haul and if I don't reach all my goals this year, there is still next year and the years after that. Before this, it was always a sprint race to reach a certain weight by a certain date. That required X pounds per week and if I had a bad week, I had to lose twice as much the next week, and on and on. It was a self defeating plan from the beginning. I know this isn't going to be easy and it won't always be fun. But I'm relaxed and ready for the challenge and I believe what I'm trying to do is attainable, and I will attain it over time.
I've struggled with being overweight almost my entire life. In the last five years, I'd added even more extra poundage to my already overburdened frame and a couple of years ago, received a diagnoses of 'pre-diabetic' from my doctor. It wasn't yet bad enough that I had to take insulin, but if I stayed on my current path, it was only a matter of time. Yet, a year later, I had only made very minimal progress in changing my lifestyle. I'd managed to lose 10-15 pounds of the 60 I figured I needed to. I skipped a couple return appointments to the doctor, trying to avoid unpleasant news.
Then, a year ago I made yet another attempt at making significant changes to my lifestyle, exercising regularly by walking on the treadmill and tracking (and limiting) calories. In about four months, I'd lost another 22 pounds, and then, as had happened many times before when trying to make healthy changes, 'fell off the wagon'. By November of this past year, I'd gained 16 of those 22 pounds back. I was starting to wonder if I would ever make long term changes and really live a healthy lifestyle. I thought about why I had failed so many times before and how I could do it differently this time, and succeed. After writing about it a few times in my 'losing weight' blog, I realized two things. The first is that losing weight as a goal just didn't work for me. It wasn't motivating and mentally, I just couldn't maintain the discipline it took for a goal about which I didn't really care. I realized that it was just a convenient way to measure 'living a healthy lifestyle', but I really felt that I needed something I was really interested in doing to motivate me to make the changes I knew were necessary. The other thing I realized is that I had to stop focusing on my weight at all because it promoted short term thinking as far as the changes I wanted to make. If the purpose of eating better and regular exercise was to hit a certain weight, or waist size, then if/when I hit those numbers, my motivation to continue the healthy living would be gone. I needed to find a way to make those changes a long term proposition, to be the way I wanted to live the rest of my life rather than something I was doing to reach some arbitrary number related to my body size. The problem was, though I thought and wrote about it over a period of weeks, I didn't come up with this new source of motivation. And I knew that I could sit around and wait for it to come, so I decided just to get moving again and hope it would come to me.
So I started walking on the treadmill again. We've had the treadmill for about 10 years and most of those years it has sat in the corner unused. Every few months (or years), I'd get on it for a few weeks, walking as a way to try and get exercise back into my life. I really wanted to jump start the fitness so decided to go 45 minutes rather than the 20-30 I'd done in times past. One day, just so I could feel like I was really working out, I alternated the walking with some jogging. When I finished that day, I was tired, but I felt good. Funny thing is, the running made that 45 minutes go by much faster than just walking alone did. In fact, the time seemed to fly by. So the next day, I did it again. Walk some to warm up, then run a little and walk some more. At first it was less than 3 miles, then I hit 3 miles; 3.2, 3.3. Pretty soon I was trying to do a little more each day. In order to ensure that, I started timing the walking and the running and adding a little more running each day, or go a little faster. It got to be a game and I looked forward to getting on the treadmill to try and beat my last distance. That was when I realized that I liked running. Then an idea for a goal formed in my mind and it seemed crazy, but was exciting at the same time.
I want to run a marathon.
It was crazy. I was still at least 40 pounds overweight, less than a month off the couch and I'd never been much of an athlete even in high school. And that was a long time ago. But I couldn't shake the idea and every time I thought about it, I got a thrill and somewhere down deep I knew that I could do it. But I also knew that it wasn't something I could just do on my own, and it wasn't something to be taken lightly. I would need a plan.
My wife had told me about a training program called ‘Couch to 5K’ which included alternating timed walking and running. This was exactly what I had stumbled on myself so it seemed perfect. As I looked over the plan, I realized that it was starting at a point well behind what I was already doing. Week 1 of the plan was only 3 days/week for 20 minutes; and running 60 seconds for every 90 seconds walking. But I also realized that I had been trying to go too fast. The last session I did before changing to C25K I was able to get in over 3.8 miles in the same 45 minutes that had been less than 3 miles just a couple weeks before. But when I finished that run, I was completely exhausted and still tired the next day. I'd read enough beginner articles and tips online to know I was trying to go too fast and was headed for an injury or burn out.
So I officially started the Couch to 5K training plan on 12/27/09. It is a 9 week plan at the end of which, I should be able to run 3 miles without stopping. At week 14 on March 28th, I'm planning to run my first 5K race at the Friendly Sons of St. Patrick 5K in West Des Moines, IA. If that goes OK, then at week 18, on April 25th, I'll attempt a 10K at the U of I River Run in Iowa City. The Marathon is scheduled for week 43 in Des Moines on October 17th. I'm reviewing a couple different marathon training plans and will make that decision in the next month. From what I can tell, most of those plans are 16 weeks and assume 6 months to a year of previous running. I'll be at the six month mark when I would start a 16 week plan, so it may be a little aggresive, but I believe I can do it, even if I end of walking some of it this first time out.
The best thing is that now I have a goal that I'm really interested in achieving and that supports my other goals of living a healthy lifestyle and getting fit. I'm even OK with finding out later in the year that I won't be ready for a marathon in 2010 if that is what happens. I know it is just a matter of time before I will be ready and I'll be having fun and feeling better than ever as I train for that day. That's the other part of my thinking that has changed with this new goal. I'm not panicked about not hitting my goal by X date and if I don't, I have failed. I'm in this for the long haul and if I don't reach all my goals this year, there is still next year and the years after that. Before this, it was always a sprint race to reach a certain weight by a certain date. That required X pounds per week and if I had a bad week, I had to lose twice as much the next week, and on and on. It was a self defeating plan from the beginning. I know this isn't going to be easy and it won't always be fun. But I'm relaxed and ready for the challenge and I believe what I'm trying to do is attainable, and I will attain it over time.
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